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Aug 23

Quick Update – End of Summer 2014

It’s been a long, but productive, summer. Class #7 is in the bag, and I just have two short weeks in between semesters. Even though I am on break, it feels like I have more work than ever.  A week ago I said to my mom (who got her master’s in 1991 when I was 14), “I don’t know how you did it with two kids, a husband, and a job.”  She just looked at me and said, “Well, when you’re motivated the stuff gets done… and I learned to deal with a messy house.”  Wise words. I am both excited and terrified that I only have one more semester until Thesis.

But I have done a few things to prepare. I gathered together the stories that will make up my thesis. Two of them I have revised in the past 6 months. The third, I am working on now; and the fourth is next.  I think they are the strongest stories, so I will pour most of my energy into working on them. I need to have between 40-60 pages. Right now the total stands at 43, so I will meet the goal.  Hopefully, after I revise the last two stories, I will have closer to 50. First draft is due the first day of class. The last thing I want to do is fall behind on this. Thank the heavens my final class is an elective and not a workshop. It is not less work, but it is less writing. I don’t have to focus on reading and critiquing other people’s work right before thesis. Instead, I can solely work on my own fiction and complete this reading elective. I won’t get burnt out.

As for other goals for 2014, I’m not doing too badly. After a slow winter and early spring, I started firing on all cylinders. I wroter 3 new stories and kept working on my longer story (a novella I think). I also have 6, yes 6!!, stories out for consideration. I revised and e-mail the stories, and if one came back rejected, I just sent it right back out again. I told myself I wouldn’t allow longer than 24 hours between rejection and submission. I think this keeps me from being discouraged and makes me feel like I am doing something. I have plans to write or finish up at least 4 more stores, so I may not hit the goal of 12 original stories this year, but I will damn sure get close. The year is not over yet, and I’m still getting the work out.

Up to 12 books to read for the year.  My goal was 25, so not too bad. It helps when you have a reading class.

As for not buying anymore books… yeah, that goal is history. I was sunk the moment I had to buy books for class and then tossed in a couple more, because I wanted them too. Don’t know why I even bothered with that one.

Still haven’t sold anything, but having 6 stories out makes me feel better about achieving that goal. I can’t get published, if I don’t get the stuff out there into the world.

The last goal about paying down my credit card has been hard. My tutition has been raised again, and it is hard to keep up. I saved for a year before I started this program, plus I still work full time, and it hasn’t been enough. Still I avoided student loans and I faithly keep my other expenses down, so I take comfort that I only have one more semester to pay for (I already paid for this fall). I’m not happy about the debt, but it is the only debt I have, so I swallow my anxiety and tell myself that it will be paid off in the next year or two, and that I can’t back out now. No sense in quitting when the goal is in view.

So that is where I’m at. I’ll try to post more during break, but no promises. Writing fiction has to come first, but still I hate neglecting this blog.  Sometimes, I think I should focus on my non-fiction just as much as my fiction.

May 9

Up For Air

Long, cold winters and I don’t mix.  It signals hibernation mode and all I want to do is curl up, bury my head, and wake when the cherry blossoms bloom.  Even then, I didn’t feel much like writing.  Instead, I buried myself in the vast storages of Youtube videos about everything from couponing to how to apply the perfect winged liner.  Somehow seeing someone get $100 worth of stuff from CVS for $2 just captures my attention.  I like a good bargain, so somehow this stuff just sucks me into the void.

This semester kept me quite busy too. (Don’t they all?)  The name of the class was Advanced Revision, so I worked on improving everything I wrote last year. My goal was to write one short story a month, but I didn’t even come close.  In fact, reading over all my lovely goals for this year, I realized that I haven’t achieved any of them.  The year is not over yet, but so far I am off to a supremely crappy start.

Please note: If you’re goal is to not buy any books, DO NOT SIGN UP FOR A READING CLASS.  That’s like swearing off sweets and then signing up for a desert making class.

What the heck was I thinking?

I’m in between semesters now, so I am bound and determined to finish something in these few short weeks.  I only have two more classes to go before thesis, so I have to start getting my work together.  Before I know it, it will be December.  I’d better be ready WAY before that.  Thesis is no joke.  Everyone I know says that it is the hardest class, and I just want it to go smoothly.  So planning, planning, and more planning.  Then writing, writing, and more writing.  Thank goodness my favorite TV shows will be in reruns.  I know that is a distraction, but damn, I love THE GOOD WIFE.  My Sunday is not complete without that show.

I also have to find some time to submit my stories.  I got so wrapped up in the revision, I forgot to keep submitting.  Constantly revising is such a temptation.  But I need to force myself to keep going.

I want to bury my head, but I need to come up for air.

So my tiny, baby goals for this in-between-semester period will be finish one story, revise one story, and submit one story.  If I do more, great, but I’m aiming low.  Keep it simple and maybe I will move forward.

Jan 15

New Goals for 2014

It’s the 15th of January, so technically it is still around the beginning of the year.  I wanted to write some of my goals for 2014 down.  I think that putting them out here publicly will be a good way to hold myself accountable.  Some of these will be easy, but others will take a lot of discipline.

Goal #1 — Finish 12 short stories a year and 1 longer piece.

This should translate into one short story a month.  In a year, I will be starting my thesis class.  I want a nice body of work ready to go before I set foot in the classroom.  Starting a year early should put me in a nice position for 2015.  By “longer piece” I mean something 10k words or more.

Goal #2 — Sell one short story.

This was my main goal for 2013.  I submitted a lot of work, but got a lot of rejections.  I’ve been trying off and on since 2004 to get published, but I stopped once I started grad school.  Last year I decided to resume my publishing quest.  Some rejections were very kind.  Some sucked.  I realize I just have to keep moving forward.  I’m never going to get published if I don’t keep writing and mailing my work out.

Goal #3 — Read at least 25 books this year.

This may seem like a small goal, but this past year I barely read 20 books.  Some books I started and just couldn’t finish.  Plus I tend to read a lot of short fiction on line.  Still, I need to read more.  So far this year I am off to a good start.  I just finished Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn and am now reading Warbreaker.  Next up will be The Well of Ascension.

Goal #4 — Buy no new books, unless I get some gift cards.

During the holiday, I realized I had an insane amount of books waiting in my “to be read” pile.  I’m going on a year long hiatus of book buying to trim down the pile.  The only way I’m getting any more books is if someone gives me a gift card that I can’t spend anywhere else.

Goal #5 — Get my credit card bill down.

Grad school is expensive.  Root canals are expensive.  For the first time in two years I got a modest raise at my day job.  I need to start making a dent in my debt.

Those are the big ones.  There a few small ones like hang some pictures, exercise more, etc.  Honestly, I’m not too worried about those.  I’m in a regular routine for exercising and others are just chores I need to take care of.  These main goals are the big ones.  These are the ones I need to focus on.  I’ll return to these goals periodically over the year to record my progress.  For now, it feels good to have them out here in cyber space.  This gives me a real solid ideas to strive for.  Let’s see how 2014 goes.

Jan 1

Swimming in the Sea of Literary Writers: Reflections about 2013

Happy New Year!

It’s my first post for 2014!  It’s also my last day of vacation. (BOO!)

Here are some of the highlights of 2013 for me:

1.  Made it half way through my master’s degree.  I need 9 classes and I have completed 5.
2.  Got Margaret Atwood to sign my book.
3.  Wrote more then I ever have in previous years.
4.  Finally went to the dentist and ended up getting a root canal. (Please note — Do not put off going to the dentist.  It is worth it to go regualarly.)
5.  Kept one of my previous resolutions and lost 27lbs.

There are a few other moments, but those are the best.  Even the root canal, which was expensive and painful, counts as a good one, because now I am pain free.  No more chewing on the other side of my mouth.

I would like to talk a bit about the first point.  Getting halfway to my master’s degree is exciting, but it is also draining too.  Quite a few people I came into the program with graduated this sememster.  They opted to take a faster track than myself and are now out the the wide world, master’s degree in hand.  A few are even published. (I’ll put links to some of their work at the end.)  I’m very happy for them and wish them well.

I wonder if they had any of the odd experiences I am having.

I’m speaking of those moments when you realize you are a speculative writer in a sea of literary writers.  There are a handful of others in the program, that I have run into, but mostly we are the strange ones that stand out in the class.  Not necessarily because we are the best writers, but usually because are stories aren’t like anyone elses.  I remember an interview I read about Stephen Graham Jones.  In it, he said that he wrote a story about a guy, who shot invisilble holes in the earth with his invisible gun.  When it came time to workshop it, none of his classmates said anything.  Finally the professor told the class they had to say something and one guy finally spoke up and said, “I don’t know man.  This story was just really weird.”

Yep.  That’s what it’s like.  I should know. 2013 was my year of workshops.  For three straight semesters, I submitted pieces and braved the criticism of my fellow students.  Reactions ranged from flattering, to tough, but fair, to funny, and even the random WTF?.  I am grateful to any thoughtful opinion, even if I didn’t feel it was right for the story.  But I feel self-conscious that my stories aren’t the same.  Sometimes it’s good.  They are memorable and designed to be read multiple times.  Other times, my stories feel like freaks.  They look like strange, ill-formed things that stand out in a sea of perfection.  Hear my inward grown when a really good fellow classmate signs up for the same critique day as me.  I could almost hear the sighs as they read their story first and then my story and mutter, “Why can’t she just write something simple?”

I know some of this is in my head.  In truth, I love my stories and accepted a long time ago that if I wanted to be a good writer I needed to look to Bradbury, Atwood, Bender, and Butler.  Philip Roth and Ernest Hemingway just weren’t going to cut it.  I suppose this is the price I pay.  On the one side, my literary tendencies can come forth and play in the specualtive world.  I get the criticism of those who read and write literary fiction and can analyze those moments.  But the other side is that few of writers read speculative fiction, so when I write about virtual reality, or aliens, the newness can take centerstage.  It helps that a few of us had that same class together and became used to my style, but still the oddness can be a hinderance.

I honestly don’t know if this is something that should change.  I am sure I am gulity of it too.  Since my workshop requirements are over, standard critiquing is over too.  What 2014 will offer in my writing education? I can’t see yet.  I’m sure it will be good, but now it is time for me to work on my own.  Classes might now focus more on analyzing other writers and applying the techniques to my own.  Hopefully this will deepen and improve my writing.
One of my resolutions for 2013 was to get published.  It didn’t happen, but I will keep trying and maybe 2014 will be the year.  I just have to keep submitting.

Here’s to 2014!  Hope your year is full of wonderful moments and interesting stories!

Here are a few of my classmate’s websites —

Like beer?  Like literature?  Head on over to Oliver Grey’s site.
Kelly Ann Jacobson will have not one, but two books out this year!  Check out her site to read excerpts and find links to her short stories and essays.
Want to read more about writer’s lives?  Check out Mike Chin’s blog.  He’s a born storyteller.

Oct 17

Book Festivals 2013

I finally have a moment to gather my thoughts.  After a too quick break between the summer and fall semester, I found myself right back in the grind of work and school.  So far this new class is going well, but it is very different from the last two classes I have had.  In my previous workshops, the focus was on character development, verb usage, and a lot of your typical examinations of a story (plot, pacing, structure, imagery, etc.).  This new class is more about atmosphere, language, and tracking the emotional arch of a character.  The hard stuff! I fully admit, there are a few moments when I am lost.  Not because I don’t think about those things when I write, but because I don’t think about those things when I read.  At least, I don’t think about those things on a conscious level. This is all under the surface for me.  I’m aware of the reaction I get from the story, but sometimes I don’t register how the writer got me there.  That is what I need to work on this semester.  How does a writer manipulate a reader (for better or worse) and do it well.

September had a nice moment for me and my book collection.  Margaret Atwood came to the National Book Festival (She is promoting her new book Maddaddam, which is awesome!). I stood in line for 2 hours and was rewarded with a signature on my 1st edition Handmaid’s Tale.  I wish I could’ve gotten more signatures, but I understand.  The line was long and she wanted to get everyone a chance to have their book signed.  I was so nervous when she was signing my book, I blurted out, “You’re my favorite writer, I just wanted to say.”  She smiled at me and said, “Oh thank you.”  Yes it was a nice little literary geek moment for me.

Oddly enough, the line for Linda Ronstadt was pretty long too!

Margaret Atwood Signed Copy

Margaret Atwood Signed Copy

The literary stories don’t stop yet.  Last weekend, I attended the Washington DC Science Fiction Writers Association annual conference called Capclave.  Guest of honor was George R.R. Martin.  I heard him read from two of his forthcoming works (one of which is the next book in the Song of Fire and Ice saga). He was funny and engaging and it was a pleasure to hear him read.

Not the best pic of George R.R. Martin, but you get the idea.

Not the best pic of George R.R. Martin, but you get the idea.

There were also some other great panels as well.  I heard Sharyn November speak about publishing, YA books, and her editorial career.  I also went to a couple of panels on diversity in SF and Fantasy literature, a really great panel on faery tales, and one on the short fiction market (always good to squeeze in the industry info panels too).  I also met author (and JHU alumn) Alma Katsu.  She was kind enough to sign my book and chat with me a little.  Her book was great.  It reminded me of old school Anne Rice with their gothic, sexy, mood.  Her stories aren’t about vampires or witches.  I have read The Taker and can’t wait to start the next one and get the third when it comes out next year.

Speaking of books, I held myself back at the dealer’s room and only bought one book.  Yes, I am on a tight budget so one splurge was enough.  It was Myke Cole’s Shadow Ops: Control Point.  I’ve been meaning to read it for a while, so I treated myself.  (I think it might be signed, but honestly the signature is so odd, I’m not sure.)  Next year, I will save up ahead of time and then Christmas will come early for me!

A Signature or No? Still not sure.

A Signature or No? Still not sure.

Capclave was fun.  I look forward to next year.

Nothing much else to report.  I’m still writing, writing, writing.  Still submitting like a fiend, but so far just rejection letters.  We’ll see if my New Year’s Resolution comes true. (The one where I wanted to sell something this year.)

Cross fingers for me!

Aug 23

Inspiration

My summer semester concluded yesterday and I feel myself taking a long deep breath.  The class was good, but I need a break. Just two short weeks and then it is back into the grind…

However, I combed through some of my old papers and I found two inspirational quotes I had forgotten about.  I’ll share them here as a way to keep pushing myself.  I hope you like them too.

1) “I think that if art is not made then the world will go on, but once art is created, it sort of connects you with just about everybody else who’s around.”  — Edward P. Jones

2) “Write about what you love and write about what scares you… If you’re writing about what you love, you might have stories that are perfectly resolved and quite happy.  If you’re writing about what scares you, you may sometimes have a story that’s not quite resolved.  If you write about what you love and if what you love scares you, then you may have the ‘Great American Novel’.” — Greg Bear

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