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Apr 6

Saying Yes

I’m late to this bandwagon, but I’ll jump on anyway. Whatever late fee I have to pay, just let me know.

I finished Shonda Rhimes’s Year of Yes and loved it. I don’t normally read memoir type books, but I love Rhimes. The TV show Scandal was my jam. I never missed a Thursday night. Even now, I find myself saying every now and then, “It’s handled!” Never mind that no one else may be in the room.

The books is all about Rhime’s decision to come out of her shell, say yes to growing, taking risk, and learning more about herself. It’s touching and inspiring, and very, very, funny. Several times I laughed out loud.

Writing is a solitary act and seeing how another writer navigates this life is always interesting. I also like how this book talks about life outside of writing. Her children, her friends, her family all come into play at one point or another in the book. It’s a great reminder that, yes we are writer, but we are also friends, daughters/sons, spouses, and parents too.

I had a mini-year of yes myself in 2013. It was fun and satisfying too. That was the year I started submitting again after a long hiatus. I had to get over my fear of rejection and start putting myself out there more. I also started to write more stories about what I was interested in, not what I thought people wanted to read.

Wondrous things happen when you start saying “yes” to things that scare you.

With no fear, you can pursue stuff you’ve always wanted. Highly recommend.

Apr 5

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It’s My Birthday (2019)

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today I turn forty-two. Not a monumental age. Not one that is supposed to mark a major turn in one’s life.

I think back ten years to thirty-two. Pretty sure that was when I really started to feel like an adult. I started to take my health more seriously, had my first major move, had a few jobs under my belt, and started this little, old blog. 🙂

If I think back twenty years to twenty-two, I was graduating from undergrad school. I was trying to figure out who I was and where I was going. I had no clue. I knew for sure I wanted to write and I looked for a job that would allow me to do this. No other plans.

At twelve, thirty years ago, I don’t remember much about sixth grade, except for one thing… This was the year I started writing. I remember very clearly writing on the bus home from school. I’m twelve and I think this is a fabulous idea. I’m excited everyday to work on my book.

Thirty years and I still try and hold on to the excitement. I would not say that writing is fun. Sometimes I have to write difficult, sad scenes. Other times I’m writing scenes that are scary. So, no, I would not say that writing is fun.

But I would say that it is exciting. I really do try and get myself revved up and excited to write. Remembering that twelve year-old on the bus helps. She skipped homework to write. She turned off the TV to write. I hold on to that feeling when I start my writing sessions.

Not sure how the next ten years are going to unfold.

I want to keep writing. I want to stay excited about what is to come. That’s all.

Apr 4

Two Years – Still Consumer Debt Free

About two years ago, I paid off the last of my graduate school bills. I got my Masters in May 2015 and for two years I sacrificed and worked to pay the degree off. It was tough, but I had paid off debt before (my undergrad degree and my car), so I knew I could do it.

Two years later, I’m still consumer debt free. I do have a mortgage, so I don’t consider myself totally out of debt. It hasn’t been hard, I love being debt free. There is no part of me that wants to go out and charge up my cards, or make any other foolish money decisions.

Why?

Because of the freedom I have now. I can spend my money on the now (regular monthly bills) and the future (savings & retirement), instead of the past.

But paying off debt also gave me something else. It reminded me that doing something long-term, eventually pays off. I had forgotten about that side effect.

Writing can sometimes be lonely and isolating. But sticking with a long-term project like a novel, or a collection of stories will eventually pay off. For me, just knowing that I did something empowers me. I’ve written novels before and they didn’t sell. No one wanted them. However, knowing that I could do it gave me the confidence to write more. Sooner or later, I’m going to write a novel that sells.

Apr 3

Write Different Pieces to Fire Up Your Creativity

I’ll tell you a secret.

I write really bad poetry.

It’s cheesy and rhymes. There is no point to a lot of them. They ramble on and on…

But I write them to write. They are in my head, so I write them down and then moved on to something else. When I was younger (like a teenager), I would write every idea that came into my head in spiral notebooks. I still have those ideas and half written stories in a box somewhere. Many of them are bad, but I wasn’t writing them to show anyone or to publish. I wrote them because I wanted to write.

I do this now mostly in my personal journal. I write about my day (or week) and then move on to the next piece. I have no intention of showing anyone my journal ever. Really it can be quite boring.

Some people may think, “What’s the point of writing stuff no one will read?”

Well… it does take the pressure off. Writing the poetry and the journals help me write with out expectation. No one will read it, so it doesn’t have to be great literature, or even make sense. I’m just writing to blow off steam, or create. It can be stupid, sentimental, words that make everyone roll their eyes if they read it, but it doesn’t matter because no one will.

For me, this freedom helps me move on to the other work that I want to share. Writing in my journal helps me write on this blog. Every now and then, I’ll say to myself, “This would make a good post!” So I take note and write the idea down. The bad poetry helps me think about images or ideas that I may explore in my fiction.

Sometimes I even write stories that I have no intention of submitting. Those stories help me work out a character, or a setting, or some technique I want to work on. I remember writing and erotica story just to get better at sex scenes. I didn’t like any of my previous attempts, but when I deliberately set out to write something sexy, my writing changed. I think it got better. But that story is in the (so called) trunk. It served its purpose and I’ve moved on.

Give yourself permission to write the bad stuff. It’ll help you grow. You’ll have fun. Don’t worry about what someone else is going to think. You’re not going to show anyone anyway.

Apr 2

Don’t Give Up – 2019

             You know what to do.

Do you need to hear this today?

Don’t Give Up!

Sometimes I need to hear it.

You know those days when nothing seems to be going right and you think you’ve wasted time? That’s when you need to hear it. Or maybe it’s when you were so sure about something and nothing came from it. Maybe that’s when you needed to hear this command.

Don’t Give Up!

I got a rejection letter the day I got out of the hospital. I got home, took some pain pills, settled down, and made the mistake of looking at my e-mail. There was the succinct letter saying (very politely) the usual version of, “Thanks, but it’s a no. Good luck with the story.”

Oh man! I didn’t want to see that…

Not the day I get home and I’m puffy from the IV fluids.

Not the day I’m popping pain meds every six hours.

Not the day my stomach hurts because of the twenty inch incision made three days ago.

No. Nope. Nada. This sucks. Rejection sucks.

But I didn’t quit. I love that story. I know it will find a home.

How do I know?

Because a few days later I got another e-mail. Somebody — some blessed stranger — bought my chapbook. They plunked down their hard-earned monies and bought my book.

I was honored and humbled.

A couple months later I saw a call for an anthology. My story would be perfect for it. It opened April 1. So, you know I submitted it right away!

Don’t Give Up!

You never know what’s going to happen next.

 

 

Apr 1

On Being Grateful

This will be quick post. I wanted to write something about where I am right now. My birthday is in a few days and I’m thinking a lot about what went down over the last year. I still think about my parents taking me out to dinner last year. My mom remarked how cute the neighborhood was around the restaurant. I agreed, but also knew I couldn’t afford it. Cut to a year later and I’m living around the corner from said restaurant. Sometimes all you have to do is speak your desires into the universe and the universe shows up to help.

So, yeah, the last 12 months had highs and lows, but I find myself very grateful that I got to live them.

Great family.

Great friends.

My indexing/electronic editorial career, which I love as much as writing.

My writing career (which is still alive). I may not be writing up a storm, but I’m still creating work I care about and believe in.

And my health. Yep, I’m grateful for the best health I’ve had in years. Maybe I needed the surgeries and recovery to remind me how important it is to take care of myself. Sometimes I can get so focused on one goal, I forget that having a well rounded life makes me a better writer.

A few months ago, I stared a gratitude journal. This is separate from my regular life journal. In the gratitude one, I write a few sentences about what I’m grateful for in the day. I find it relaxing, almost soothing to start my day like this.

Not a bad way to start the next 12 months.

Happy Spring!

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