Christina Keller's Blog

Let’s Catch Up — June 2023

It’s been a while, so I thought I would write a post to sum up what’s been going on.

In my last post, I talked about finishing a novel. It didn’t happen. I wrote diligently for a few months, but by March of 2022, I knew the book would die off. I just wasn’t interested in pursuing the project. The characters had grown stale and I didn’t know where to go next in the plot. So I put the book aside and decided to try something else.

In truth, I put writing aside. I didn’t quit, but instead took a few months off. In April of 2022, my job announced they would be bringing us back into the office. So my hour and fifteen minute commute would resume. Luckily, it is hybrid and I still get to work from home most days of the week. Writing got put on hold and I focused more on the day job.

But inflation was kicking my butt and I needed extra money. So I did what millions of people have been doing, and I got a side hustle. My gig of choice was reselling. I had some luck, finding a few valuable things at the thrift store, and I sold some of my own personal items. I didn’t make much money, but it kept my busy and I learned a few new skills. I had always thought I was a terrible salesperson, but I have learned that if you have something people want, it is very easy to sell it to them. I had fun treasure hunting and selling my wares, but as I said, I didn’t make very much (about $30 to $40 profit per month) and starting in January I began to sell off my remaining inventory and close up shop. I never wanted to replace my job (I like my work.). I just hoped to pull in an extra $100 a month. When that didn’t happen, it was time to pivot.

I didn’t forget about writing. Sometime in September 2023, I cranked out a new short story. That was my first finished project in years, and I attribute it to the break. I stepped away from writing and when I came back, I had renewed energy. The pressure was off to write this novel and I could go back to writing the fun stuff, that I was excited to work on. I was busy at that time with day job, reselling, and now writing again. Because I had such a limited amount of time, I didn’t waste it worrying. I got down to work.

So now that I am not reselling, I’m back to writing in my extra time. I’m currently working on a new short story and figuring out what my next move is going to be. Since the start of the year, I’ve been asking myself, what do I want my writing career to look like? Where do I want to be in 5 years with my writing? I’m not sure. I want to keep pushing out new and interesting stories. Perhaps one day I will stick with a story long enough to write a novel. It’s half way through the year and I’m still asking myself, what matters to me?

I do know that I’ve grown a little more discouraged about submitting to journals and zines. I’m not against them, but I look at the guidelines and none of my work seems to fit what editors are looking for. I don’t seem to be creating work that will make them money and if you can’t make an editor money, they’re not going to publish you. They may love the work (and even love you), but it’s a business and I understand that now more than ever. (Reselling. You can love and item, but that doesn’t mean anyone will buy it, or pay the price you want.)

More and more, I think self-publishing is just the best way for me to go. I may continue to submit to the bigger places (or even smaller if I think I have something that is a good fit), but I will not be as diligent as I was. Time to let that go.

I also think I’m letting go of the idea of being a full time writer. Maybe when I’m in my retirement years (hopefully I can retire) I’ll just be a writer. For now, I’m sticking with my day job. I just got a promotion this month, I’m aggressively saving for retirement, I’m getting my other money on track (emergency fund, budget, etc.). Now is not the time to take my foot off the gas. I turned 46 this year and I know that I want to have a better future. The fantasy of full time writer is just not in my reality right now.

And yet, I’m still going to write the work that excites me and that I think is valuable. No one else may agree with me. After all, no one is waiting with baited breath for my work. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop writing. This was a hard truth for me to realize, but I think I’m better for it. The pressure I put on myself, stifled me, stilted me, and ultimately make question every word I wrote. I couldn’t work like that.

Now, I’m in a place of — Who Cares if It has no Market Value? It’s cool and I want to write it!

I plan on repeating this mantra every time I feel that pressure. And yes, I will try to update this blog more regularly too. I stepped away for far too long. Breaks are sometimes necessary and now I feel refreshed and ready for the next chapter.

Thanks for sticking around. Write again soon.