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Feb 9

Two Love Poems and Some Chocolate

February 14 approaches. And since I probably won’t post before that day, I decided to post one of the most romantic poems I’ve ever read. I found this poem about 18 years ago in the library. I was bored and picked up a large poetry book, a large all-inclusive volume, to occupy myself. I read this poem by Sara Teasdale that floored me and I immediately copied it for my records. To this day, I think this is on my top five list of favorite poems (and made me a fan of Sara Teasdale). Enjoy!

When I am Not With You

When I am not with you

I am alone,

For there is no one else

And there is nothing

That comforts me but you.

When you are gone

Suddenly I am sick,

Blackness is round me,

There is nothing left.

I have tried many things,

Music and cities,

Stars in their constellations

And the sea,

But there is nothing

That comforts me but you;

And my poor pride bows down

Like grass in a rain-storm

Drenched with my longing.

The night is unbearable,

Oh let me go to you

For there is no one,

There is nothing

To comfort me but you.

— Sara Teasdale

Tasted really good too!

Tasted really good too!

Also, I bought a candy bar at Whole Foods this weekend and, SURPRISE!, it came with a love poem inside by Pushkin. Who knew Russians could be so romantic!

A Magic Moment I Remember

A magic moment I remember:

I raised my eyes and you were there,

A fleeting vision, the quintessence

Of all that’s beautiful and rare

I pray to mute despair and anguish,

To vain the pursuits world esteems,

Long did I hear your soothing accents,

Long did your features haunt my dreams.

Time passed. A rebel storm-blast scattered

The reveries that once were mine

And I forgot your soothing accents,

Your features gracefully divine.

In dark days of enforced retirement

I gazed upon grey skies above

With no ideals to inspire me

No one to cry for, live for, love.

Then came a moment of reinessance,

I looked up – you again are there

A fleeting vision, the quintessence

Of all that’s beautiful and rare.

– Alexander Pushkin

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Jan 30

January Round Up 2015

Just a quick post here to update my writing challenge.

Rejections: 6

Acceptances: 0

Submissions: 10

I have two more pending for submission, but one still needs to be typed up and for the other, I am waiting until February 1 for the market to open. I think things are coming along nicely so far, but if I want to hit 100 rejections, I need to submit more.

My writing took a hit this month. A few days ago, classes started up and I am now in full swing for my final class for my degree. I spent most of my time this month working on my stories for class. New material had to be put aside. That’s a bummer, but I don’t think I would’ve changed things. I am learning there are times when you just need to focus on the tasks at hand and not worry about the perfect situation. In a perfect world, I would have time for everything… but we all know that doesn’t exist. So I get done, what I get done.

And the next day, I try again.

Jan 15

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It Begins Here – One Year, One Hundred Rejections

"To Do" Board

“To Do” Board

Well folks, we are half way through the first month of the year and already the rejections are piling up. Just today I got two more. I’ve been thinking – How am I going to keep track of my progress? I can keep a running tally on my “To Do” board. (See above pic.) But I also want to keep track of my progress.

So I’ve decided that every month on the 15th and the 30th (25 for February) I will post an update on my rejection process. Remember, I’m trying to hit 100 by the end of the year. Will it work? Who knows. The point is to get me to submit, submit, submit.

Here is my tally as of January 15, 2015:

Rejections: 4

Acceptances: 0

Pieces still out for submission: 5

Ah, so small! I need to submit more, but since two came in today, I haven’t had a chance to send them out. Hopefully by this weekend I can get them out, along with three more. So by the 18th, the “Submission” line should be 10.

One big problem is my very bad habit of writing long hand. With the exception of longer works, I almost always write the story out by hand. Now, many of the stories I wrote last year need to be typed up. I’ve been slacking on this and now I have 2 stories written (with notes and everything) that need to be transcribed. And at the end of a long day, the last thing I want to do is spend more time in front of the computer. That’s why writing long hand appeals to me. I don’t have to sit at the computer. I can write anywhere and don’t feel like a zombie.

Still, I think 4 rejections is a nice start. One came as a form rejection. Two were the “if you haven’t heard from us by X date, you can assume you are rejected”. But the last was a personal rejection, with the editor saying he enjoyed the story, but competition was tough and my story didn’t make the cut. He ended the note telling me to please submit again (I definitely will.) and wished me luck.

See, that kind of stuff makes this challenge fun.

Oh, and I’ve noticed that I have a few more people following this blog. I just wanted to say “Hi!” and thanks for stopping by to read my blog. I really appreciate you taking the time to read my thoughts on my life as a fiction writer. I hope you enjoy reading this blog as much as I enjoy writing it.

And for kicks, I leave you with my submission tracker that hangs on my board. This was not everything I submitted in 2014 (I only started tracking pieces during the summer.), but it is the majority. I know, I know. I’m so high tech…

Writing Pics 001

Jan 10

Books that Inspire Me #3

Kindred Book 001

Today I saw the movie Selma and thought it was a great film. It shines the spotlight on a moment in the civil rights history. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write about for this column, but then I started thinking about writers that have paved the way for me.

Octavia Butler is one of them.

I never really knew what kind of writer I was until I wrote a story about 15 years ago. It was the first time I wrote something that really embodied who I was as a writer. After, I was proud of myself, but didn’t know what to do next. I wasn’t even sure if it was a good story. So I enrolled in a community writing workshop and submitted the story. On the whole, I got a lot of great feedback, but there was one woman (Carol was her name I think), who really explained it to me.

“You write magical realism,” she said looking directly at me.

I had never heard that term before. You have to remember that up until that point in my life I spent four years in college studying literature from pre-1950. The closest I got to current novels was an Amy Tan book I read for a one credit reading class. Terms like magical realism were lost on me. So, to the internet I went and after a few days, a whole new world opened up to me. Not just magical realism, but science fiction, fantasy, and horror. I’ve already posted a few times about books that emerged from my searching. Kindred is another.

Funny enough, plenty of my family already knew and loved Butler’s work. Both my mother and aunts had read her. When I mentioned to my Mom if she had ever heard of Butler, she replied, “Oh yes! She’s great. Here, I have a few.”

I started with Clay’s Ark and Mind of My Mind. They are solidly in the SF world. But it was Kindred and more subtle, controlled urban fantasy story that hooked me as a fan. It deals with social issues like race, gender, and family. It has fantasy elements, but is solidly rooted in the real world. All of Butler’s characters are complex. No one is all bad, or all good. I won’t give the plot away, but it is easy to see why many consider this story to be her best. (Note: If anyone knows Oprah or Brad Pitt, tell them about this story. THIS REALLY NEEDS TO BE A MOVIE.)

Signed Copy of Mind of My Mind

Signed Copy of Mind of My Mind

In 2004, I was lucky enough to see her speak in person. I remember waiting in line for her to sign my book. I can’t lie. I was starstruck being in front of her. (And Samuel Delany was there too, but I didn’t have any of my books for him to sign. To this day, that bums me out.) She was a true superstar writer and gone too soon. She died about 14 months after I saw her.

Signed Copy Clay's Ark

Signed Copy Clay’s Ark

I love Tolkien. I love George R.R. Martin. I love Brandon Sanderson and Neil Gaiman. But I think it is important that there be diversity in literature, both characters and the writers themselves. Octavia Butler was not just a great writer, but also added much needed diversity to the speculative writing world. Today there are many writers of color in the speculative field writing and publishing their books. I should know because I collect them and I am one of them.

And we all owe Butler our thanks.

Dec 30

Final Post for 2014

Last post for 2014. What a year it has been. As I write, my last story is almost done. I still need to write the ending, but I have one more day left in the month, so time is not up yet. Barring any serious distractions, I should be done by tomorrow afternoon. So finishing 12 pieces for the year completes one goal I had for 2014. This doesn’t even count the numerous short critical essays, fiction, and analyses I did for class. Plus the posts I did for this blog. At last count I wrote about 8,000 words this year for the blog. All that stuff is just bonus material. Who knows when I will have to whip out my thoughts on Chekhov’s Gustav.

Anyway, let’s review the goals I had for the year.

Goal #1 – Finish 12 short stories for the year and one long piece.

I have 12 (or 11 and ¾) pieces finished. I say “pieces” because I did write some personal essays and submitted them for publication. I figured essays took just as much time as a short story, so they should count. My longer piece I did stall out on, but I will get back to it sooner or later. I have a lot on my plate right now, so I’m not in a hurry to get back to the story. It can wait.

Goal #2 – Sell one short story.

Done and Done. Saw my first story in print this year.

Goal #3 – Read at least 25 books this year.

Got through 16 this year. Considering that I only read one while I was in class last semester, I think that is pretty good. My last class was purely on short stories and I read 100-200 pages a week. There was just no time to read stories for class and other books.

Goal #4 – Buy no new books, unless I get gift cards.

Yeah, that goal is a bust.

Goal #5 – Get my credit card balance down.

Truthfully, it is only a little higher than it was last year. I pay down the balance, just to see it go back up again with my school tuition. But I don’t have anymore classes to pay for, so I should see some real progress this year.

For 2015, I have some new goals:

Goal #1 – Write 2 new pieces a month.

I managed to write about one a month, so I can up my game and make it two. It will be tough come spring because of thesis, but I’m going to try. Maybe more flash fiction…

Goal #2 – Finish a longer piece.

I have a lot of other projects I need to get to work on. If I really want to scare myself, I write them all down. I have ideas for days. But because of school, I have to put them on the back burner. Hopefully after this spring, I can really devote some time to these longer projects.

Goal #3 – Teach myself how to format, design a cover, and upload a book for self-publishing. This is something I’ve been thinking about over the past 6 months. I’m really curious about self-publishing and would love to give it a shot. Might be fun.

Goal #4 – One Year, One Hundred Rejections

I’m going to try this challenge. I goal is too get 100 rejections over the course of one year. Even if I don’t hit the number, that is an insane amount of submissions for one year. Way more than I did in 2014 and 2013 combined.

Thoughts on Rejection

One thing you get used to as a writer is rejection. Exactly, one year ago I got the harshest rejection letter I have ever gotten. Over the years I have gotten every kind of rejection: a form rejection, a nice, well meaning letter, a detailed, helpful note, and finally nothing at all. But I never got anything mean.

That was hurtful and something I consider unprofessional. I don’t think I will ever submit to that market again (And no I won’t name them. People change frequently in publishing, so I don’t want a publication to have a bad reputation from my one negative experience, esp. if that reader/editor is no longer there). It depressed me and you can see the results. I didn’t post here for months. I loved the story and to have it and myself insulted was tough.

By April, I pulled myself out. In truth, I didn’t really write much in January through April. I didn’t do much at all. But the warm spring days brightened my spirits and I was back at work soon enough. I wrote more stories and submitted.

Nine months after that harsh note, I got my first story accepted.

I write this because I think the worst has happened in my submitting. My fear about writing (that someone will completely hate my writing and tell me so) was fully realized.

And I survived.

If I had given up after that rejection, I would never be where I am today. I wouldn’t have all these new stories written, my story in the anthology wouldn’t exist, and I would probably be an unhappy person thinking that I should be writing and submitting. But now, I am ending this year on a good note. I pushed through the tough moments and was able to experience the good. That is the lesson I take with me into the new year.

I’ll see you in 2015!

Dec 10

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Goal Line in Sight

I’m looking at you December. You’re almost gone and I’m trying not to notice. The fall has gone quickly and now I am staring at the end of the year in my sights. This is the last week of classes for me. I’ve completed everything for the class, save showing up and having one last discussion in class on Bluebeard. (Side note: I had no idea there were so many stories about Bluebeard! Really, it is a bit nuts.) So the pressure is off. I have registered for my thesis class, worked on my stories, completed the form for the class, and have a few short weeks before I will begin my final work.

In the beginning of the year, I laid out some goals. Currently, I have 11 completed pieces and I have no doubt that I will get the last one done by the end of the year. I have 15 days of vacation in December, so I have lots of time to write.

Other goals might not happen. I left the goal of buying books wayyyy behind earlier this year. But I won’t meet my reading goals. In truth, school just kept my too busy. Even though I read books for class, I just didn’t get to all the other books I have on my list to read. The class I’m in now is for short stories and those handouts came first. So it’s hard to read for pleasure when you have to get through 100-200 pages of short stories for class. All in all, I’ll get through about 20 books. My goal was 25, but I’ll take the 20.

I got one story published. So that goal was hit. Yay!

Ah the credit card… Yeah, grad school is still expensive. If I hadn’t gotten furloughed this might have been a kept goal, but two weeks with no pay hurts. Writers need all the money they can get.

Finally, I have my goal of completing one longer work. I haven’t finished it, but I have more words than I did before. I don’t know if I will finish by the end of the year, but I am not disappointed. It is coming along. Maybe I will get to it too over vacation.

It is vacation after all. I gotta hit some of those after X-mas sales!

Looking ahead for 2015, I still think I want to try the One Year, One Hundred Rejections. I have lots of material now, so time to submit more stuff. Also, I want to keep up the pace of one new piece each month. I can speed up after I graduate, but I want to keep it low for now.

Back at the end of December with final numbers.

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