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Posts from the ‘Everyday Life’ Category

May 29

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A Turning Point

About a month ago, I mentioned that I got some bad news. Last week, the news got worse. After almost eleven years, I have been laid off from my job. The company closed its doors and is no longer doing business. All of my co-workers and I are sad about the end. It’s a new reality for us.

In some ways I feel like I am going through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. If I’m being honest, I’m probably in between the depression and acceptance phase. I have all these reminders around me of work left unfinished. There is a lingering voice in the back of my mind, which chime at two o’clock in the afternoon telling me I should be working. I realize now that I can leave it unfinished. I can pack it up, or throw it away. No one needs it anymore.

I do feel lucky. Lucky that I got myself out of debt, so my bills (for now) are manageable (emergency fund, unemployment, etc.).

Lucky that I had all of my surgery and other medical procedures done early this year. I’m healthy and have never felt better.

Lucky that I have friends and family who I can lean on for support.

And I’m lucky I got to work as long as I did at my former company. It’s rare to find a place with great people and work that allowed me to pursue my dreams too. At eleven years, I was one of the newer employees. There were folks who had been there twenty plus years.

So for now, I’m job hunting and focusing on my fiction writing (and sticking to the plan I thought about last month). I’m sad about the end, but, if I’m being honest, I’m excited by the future. This is a new opportunity for me. A new path, I didn’t see coming. I don’t expect it to be easy, just different. I thought my life was going one way, but the universe had a different plan.

Let’s see where it goes.

Apr 25

One Moment and Everything Changes

This week has been difficult. I gotten difficult news both professionally and personally. I won’t go into it, instead I want to write about what happens after. The world goes sideways and what do you do next?

You make a plan.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. Everything doesn’t have to make sense. You can take some time (as long as you need), but then the world is still turning. Life, whether you are ready or not, is still going on.

Make a plan. Try to figure out where you want to be and what you think is best. Be flexible and let your plans change, if they need to.

Most important, though, is to keep your eye on the bigger picture. I try to think about years down the road, instead of day by day. I do have short-term goals, but as I get older they seem to be less important. Long-term goals tend to bring me more happiness and satisfaction when I complete them.

So for now, I’m going to think about my long-term goals and how I’m going to get there. I want to think about how this news is going to affect these goals. Then, I’m going to make some plans.

Apr 12

Finding Balance

This week I’ve been thinking a lot about balance. As I said earlier, I went to the doctor and she encouraged me to get back to exercising now that I am almost fully recovered from surgery. I want to fit that in again, along with fiction writing and my regular stuff. But I’ve also been thinking about other aspects of my life that I’ve let fall to the wayside. There are friendships I don’t put enough time into, travel I’d like to do, spirituality I’d like to explore more, and a whole host of other aspects.

About 15 years ago, I heard Tom Wolfe speak about the writing life. He said one of the best things a writer could do was go out and live a life. Don’t just sit around and write. Go out and see the world. I remember him saying that. He felt that writers had become too insular, where they were only writing about themselves as writers and nothing more. A dangerous, slippery slope I hope one day to never fall down.

A full life, full of mundane and exciting stuff is what we should all aim for. I’m striving for that now. Not an easy thing. Sometimes I feel like I’m pulled in so many directions and other times I feel like the dullest person in the room. Maybe the answer is that I need to do what I can each day to feel like I’m living my best life. Some days that’s going to be binge watching TV. Other days it will be squeezing in a workout and one thousand words of new fiction. And some will be spending time with the family/friends. I don’t have to do everything everyday.

I have to focus on doing my best each day and keeping things interesting.

Apr 11

Finding the Time

Cherry trees have blossomed.

One thing posting everyday has taught me — I have time to write. Sometimes it feels like I have zero time. My day job has drained me, or I have plans that take me away from my desk all day. Most days, however, I have a few minutes to write.

Went to the doctor this week and she encouraged me to get back into regular exercise. I thought, When is that going to happen? After work, no that is writing time. It’s going to be first thing in the morning for now. Maybe later I’ll change them. I used to be a “write first thing in the morning and workout in the evening” person. We’ll see. I can always change if I think the routine isn’t working.

In the past, people have always said, “When I have time, I’ll write.”

I always respond with, “You’ll never have time to write. You have to make time.”

But you knew that didn’t you (if you are a fellow writer)? Now I’m learning that I have to make time for everything else. Heck, even my grand plan to watch all of the GOT episodes before the season premiere on Sunday went awry. Last Sunday, as I started, I didn’t realize that Killing Eve was having a marathon. So GOT went on the back burner, Sandra Oh needed me now. And that day I still had to fit in a blog post, writing, reading more my friend’s novel, and grocery shopping. And some folks have way, way more responsibilities than me (like kids or aging parents). We do the best we can by making time for the important stuff.

And this month long challenge reminded me that I do consider my writing important. That I can carve out time to write (even a few paragraphs a day) among the craziness of life. This is important to me and I can make time for it. Everyday.

Apr 1

On Being Grateful

This will be quick post. I wanted to write something about where I am right now. My birthday is in a few days and I’m thinking a lot about what went down over the last year. I still think about my parents taking me out to dinner last year. My mom remarked how cute the neighborhood was around the restaurant. I agreed, but also knew I couldn’t afford it. Cut to a year later and I’m living around the corner from said restaurant. Sometimes all you have to do is speak your desires into the universe and the universe shows up to help.

So, yeah, the last 12 months had highs and lows, but I find myself very grateful that I got to live them.

Great family.

Great friends.

My indexing/electronic editorial career, which I love as much as writing.

My writing career (which is still alive). I may not be writing up a storm, but I’m still creating work I care about and believe in.

And my health. Yep, I’m grateful for the best health I’ve had in years. Maybe I needed the surgeries and recovery to remind me how important it is to take care of myself. Sometimes I can get so focused on one goal, I forget that having a well rounded life makes me a better writer.

A few months ago, I stared a gratitude journal. This is separate from my regular life journal. In the gratitude one, I write a few sentences about what I’m grateful for in the day. I find it relaxing, almost soothing to start my day like this.

Not a bad way to start the next 12 months.

Happy Spring!

Oct 5

Back from Break – October 5, 2017

Phew! It’s been a while since I have updated this blog.

Honestly, I needed a break from all things social media related. After pushing through to get out of debt and figure out my game plan for the next phase of my life, I realized I needed to unplug from my life. Like a lot of people, I work in front of a computer all day long. The idea of spending more time in front of it just killed me. It’s one of the reasons I write long hand a lot. I would much rather spend time writing on a note pad than composing on the computer.

So I spend most of the spring and summer away from the screen, trying to come up with a writing plan for myself. I didn’t find a good one. All I can say is that I’m still working on my book. Slowly but surely, it will get done. I have this fantasy of it being completed by the end of the year, but we’ll see. I also have a few other stories that need to be finished or tweaked.

Good news! Even in my disorganized state, I am still submitting. I even managed to get another story accepted. It should go live by the end of the year. That news really energized me (which is why I want to have a completed draft done by the end of the year). I wrote the story four years ago and it has gone through a lot of rejections. I’m so happy it found a home.

Reminds me of the old advice that the one trait a writer needs is — Persistence.

I’m getting back into the swing of things, so expect more updates (or at least more that one every 6 months). Thanks to all of you who have stuck with the blog this long. Things are getting interesting!

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