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Feb 17

My Dream – A Year Later

A year ago, I had a dream that pushed me to take action on my writing career. In the dream I was trying to cross a wide chasm. On one side a footbridge that looked unsafe. On the other side was a steep ice cliff with only hand holds to get myself up to higher ground. Neither one was the “correct” way. Both had their pros and cons. The point was that I had to make a choice.

I’m old enough now to know that inaction is the worst action you can take. Standing still never gets you anywhere. And sometimes, if you don’t make a choice, one will be made for you.

That dream prompted me to take action on my writing career. I leaned into submitting some of my short stories and I ended up getting two published in 2024. I also started my novel and wrote more than I had in 2022 and 2023 combined.

I also got busy joining Instagram, YouTube (really AuthorTube), and added a few more short stories to my Amazon author page.

Today is President’s day in the US. Everyday the news is terrible and as a federal contractor to the HHS, I expect one day the news will be bad for me. The things I can do, protest, boycott, call my Congress people are all great.

But mostly, I need to figure out how I’m going to survive.

What can I do to daily make my (and others) lives easier as we navigate this world? What can I do to manage my stress and anxiety about the world?

I think it is fitting that now, a year later after the dream, I find myself having to make more decisions about my future. So far, I have dug in my heels. I will show up for my job as long as I can. I will do my best to stay healthy (mentally and physically), because now is not the time to fall apart.

And I will write my stories.

Not only is it a respite from the world, but it is also important to me. Being a storyteller has been a guiding part of my life and a core principle in the make-up of my identity. To give it up now would be dumb. Now more than ever I need to show up for myself. I need to remind myself that the world is not going to push me into line and make me give up my dreams. Times are hard and they will get harder.

Don’t give up on yourself.

Feb 1

The Hard Work of Writing

“Everybody wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die.”

Google has attributed this quote to a few people, so I’m not sure who said it first. Maybe Steve Jobs or maybe boxer Joe Lewis. I think the first time I heard it, Tupac said it (at least I think it was him). Either way, I’ve been mulling over this idea for the last week.

To me, this quote shows the difference between those who think about doing something and those who actually take action. Everybody wants to be a writer, but not a lot of folks actually start writing. Plenty of people say, “Oh, one day when I have time I’ll sit down and write.” Some might even start. Soon enough, they realize it’s more than buying a fancy pen, sitting in a coffee shop all day long, and sipping a fancy coffee. Writers write. Period. Thinking about writing, talking about writing, and even setting up an office are NOT writing.

I’m reminded of this reality this past few weeks as I try and finish my first draft. For the first time in years, I got a head cold and spent a few days taking painkillers, flu meds, and resting. None of those things were writing. I’m back at it now, but I know that even though I needed to rest, I was not writing.

The hard work of sitting down day after day is the “death” of this metaphor. Lot’s of people want to be writers, but not a lot want to sit down day after day and face that page. I’ve been doing this for decades with only a little success. Sometimes I wonder what I would’ve done if I didn’t write.

Honestly, I have no idea.

This identity is so ingrained in me, that I can’t see another version of myself. I did write a story once, unpublished, where I had a fictional twin who went off to become an actor. Even in that story, I didn’t feel like a true version. Still, seeing myself in a different way was an interesting exercise.

Perhaps, I’ve been doing this so long being a writer has imprinted on my DNA.

And what is “heaven” in this scenario? Published book? Famous writer? Rich writer? Sucess is different for everyone. Some want to be a full-time writer, but for others just having a book on the shelf is an achievement. I suppose earning a lot of money as a writer is the goal, but I know that it’s not my motivation. If it were, I would be writing romantacy (romance and fantasy combined), or I would move over into non-fiction writing (ghost writing, copy writing, etc.). Those places pay a whole lot better than weird genre bending fiction.

Heaven is different for us all. The important thing is to do the work.

And “heaven” will reveal itself to you.