Take Some Risk – End of April 2024

On the night of February 15, 2024, I had one of the most memorable dreams I have ever had. That in of itself was unusual for me. I rarely remember my dreams, and if I do, they usually don’t make sense. But this night was different. I remember it clearly, even now, and I also understand what my subconscious was trying to tell me.

In the dream, I’m walking on a frozen, snowy road. I’m bundled up like I’m in the artic, but the weather is cold and clear. I recognize the road. It was in an old neighborhood, I used to live in and so the walk is familiar. But soon I come to a gaping hole in the road. A wide deep chasm that I can’t cross. To my left is a high ledge, that I have to climb to be able to continue on the road (It a dream so don’t ask where this ledge came from. It wasn’t there in the beginning.) To my right is a small foot bridge that will also cross the chasm.

I don’t have climbing equipment to get up the ledge, but I can see people climbing and making their way across, so I know that it is possible. The footbridge looks like it is straight out of some terrifying horror movie that cold snap at any moment, but I still see people using it as if it is an everyday thing. I, myself, am frozen in horror. I can’t move forward, because both options terrify me. In my mind, I have no options. I’m too scared to move forward, but I don’t want to go back.

I call out to a man, who had just crossed the footbridge. “How come you’re not scared???”

He turns and yells back. “I don’t know. I guess you just get used to it.”

At that point in the dream, I wake up.

Like I said earlier, I know what the dream is about. I had been struggling for the past few years with my writing and what I wanted to do with it. Last fall, I said it felt like I was staring over and basically restarting my writing career. It was definitely a source of anxiety and having that dream made my fears all the more real. But the real take away for me was the answer at the end. I had to get used to the fear of starting over. I had to get used to the fear of submissions and constantly putting my work out there. I had to get used to the fear of writing something and sharing it with people.

Heck, do you see me writing another blog post so soon? I managed to write a new one within a month of the last one.

The dream was both a confirmation and a push from my subconscious to get back to work. So for the month of March, I decided to submit at least five times a week. If I missed a week, then I had the do double the next week. I’m happy to report that not only did I complete my goal, but I also got two stories accepted! That had never happened before. It is a huge ego boost and I’m more motivated than ever to keep writing.

What’s the expression?

Feel the fear, and do it anyway!

I hope everyone who reads this is making progress on your goals. If you feel you are on a metaphorical road with choices that scare you, make the best decision you can, but don’t make it out of fear. Make a decision because you are excited to get to the other side and you are willing to take the risk.